This morning my Aunt Cathy passed away unexpectedly. I had a job interview, so Michelle and Phill decided not to tell me until afterwards. Its a strange feeling to know someone is gone before you really know it. I don't know if that makes sense.
My Aunt had just written a nice email to me a couple days ago about missing us and wanting to see Asher Ben and how excited she was about his birthday. I just feel bad now that we never got to have that visit.
And my heart is broken for Fallon, Josh, and Jason, who have now lost both their parents.
We packed this kids up this evening and we all went to spend some family time at Fallon's house. Its all still really surreal, which I'm sure will change after the funeral.
So I just want to say this now, before I forget to blog later. I'm grateful for the good memories I have of Cathy. And I want to thank her for the things she did for me and my sister when we were children. For taking us in when we needed a home and someone to mother us. For always caring about us. Thank you.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Epic Fight of Cole vs, Jones
The Epic Fight of The Jones/Cole Household. All I can say is that there was hair pulling, biting, scratches, slapping, and battles scars. I can't say who won, but I can say that it is possible for a ten month old and a two year old to have it out. They were still hitting at each other when they were being pulled away and pushes against us so they could get one more bite/ scratch in at the other, just like big kids. I was surprised that they were old enough to play together, I'm shocked that they are old enough to have an actual fight. What was the fight about? It all was over a purple bowl and who's turn it was to play with it.
Oh boy, we are screwed when Ethan is big enough to "Play" too.
Oh boy, we are screwed when Ethan is big enough to "Play" too.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
T: Minus 2 Months and Some Change
I've been thinking a lot lately about how much has changed in such a small amount of time. Its bittersweet. Recently, I've been more sad than happy. I think about Asher and I think "This may be the only baby I'll ever have" And then I think about all the stages of babyhood and how he kinda rushed through some of them. I look at my almost ten month old and I no longer see a baby, I see a toddler. And its not perspective, other people with babies that are the same age as Asher tell me the same thing "Your child doesn't seem like hes the same age as mine" or "I look at Asher compared to my baby and he seems like such a big kid, more like a toddler than a baby" Its true. He is in such a rush. I don't know if hes trying to keep up with Kylee or if this is just who he is. But its like he wants to do everything immediately. And I just want him to slow down and be a baby while he is a baby. Recently, I've started pulling pictures for a project that I'm working on. Every month since he was born, I've taken pictures of Asher wearing a onesie with a month sticker on it. I totally forgot and I don't know how, but I stumbled on a picture of Asher with his two month sticker on, and he was standing up even then, holding onto just one hand. And then another picture of him just a month later, standing up in his new suit and shoes, holding onto just one little finger. Has he always been such a big boy? I look at Ethan, who is also a big baby, and I try to imagine him standing up and holding onto one finger....and I smile because that would be crazy. How come at the time, when Asher was doing these things I didn't think "Wow this is crazy" Then I thought "How cool" and now I think "I wish he would slow down a little".
Afterall, what do we have left before his first birthday is upon us....2 months and some change? Thats really no time at all. I love hearing his little voice when he speaks to us. I think its hallarious the way he says "Seuss" it comes out more like Suss...but its there. Or when he says "All Done" or rather screams it whenever we are doing something he wants no part of, like changing his diaper. Or when he tells other babies "This" over and over again, really telling them "This is mine" Obviously he needs to learn how to share. And of course there is "No"....we are working on "Yes", but he has no interest in that for some reason. I love his voice, I rejoice with him when he walks more than two steps, I love watching his pour over books, and play with Kylee for hours.
But it breaks my heart that he is no longer a little baby and part of me is jealous when I hold other nine month olds, who still feel like babies. Who still want your constant attention and don't push you away when you try to play with them. When did my baby get so independent?
In two months Asher will officially be a toddler. And of course we're going to be so proud when he finally gets to eat some really gross allergy free cake...just like any other parent...maybe even more so. But maybe just for an afternoon it would be nice to press pause and enjoy this time. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when he was a newborn and just enjoy holding him that way for a couple hours. I wish I hadn't been so sleep deprived and then so sick, I didn't enjoy that time as much as I should have and that makes me feel guilty. All I could think then was "I wish I could get some sleep" Sigh....hindsight.
Afterall, what do we have left before his first birthday is upon us....2 months and some change? Thats really no time at all. I love hearing his little voice when he speaks to us. I think its hallarious the way he says "Seuss" it comes out more like Suss...but its there. Or when he says "All Done" or rather screams it whenever we are doing something he wants no part of, like changing his diaper. Or when he tells other babies "This" over and over again, really telling them "This is mine" Obviously he needs to learn how to share. And of course there is "No"....we are working on "Yes", but he has no interest in that for some reason. I love his voice, I rejoice with him when he walks more than two steps, I love watching his pour over books, and play with Kylee for hours.
But it breaks my heart that he is no longer a little baby and part of me is jealous when I hold other nine month olds, who still feel like babies. Who still want your constant attention and don't push you away when you try to play with them. When did my baby get so independent?
In two months Asher will officially be a toddler. And of course we're going to be so proud when he finally gets to eat some really gross allergy free cake...just like any other parent...maybe even more so. But maybe just for an afternoon it would be nice to press pause and enjoy this time. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when he was a newborn and just enjoy holding him that way for a couple hours. I wish I hadn't been so sleep deprived and then so sick, I didn't enjoy that time as much as I should have and that makes me feel guilty. All I could think then was "I wish I could get some sleep" Sigh....hindsight.
Monday, January 10, 2011
To Walk or Not to Walk......and Other Things that Boggle the Brain!
That is Asher's question. He has on two separate occasions taken two steps and then promptly fallen on his face attempting a third! But its progress. Soon we'll have a walker and then....watch out world!
It boggles my mind when I stop and think of how quickly Asher has gone from helpless infant, to mobile little boy! In a week, he'll be nine months old. Three months from now He'll be one! ONE! A toddler. And as much joy as each new stage brings, it hurts my heart a little that my baby will no longer be a baby. Asher Ben just might be my last baby too and I don't know how to feel about that just yet.
I love watching him play with other kids. In that aspect he is very very social. He loves playing with Kylee and is constantly trying to keep up with her....thus the early mobility. It melts my heart to see the little smile that suddenly appears on his face each morning when he first hears her voice! He cannot wait to get downstairs and play with her.
A couple days ago we had Aiden over, Aiden is 3 weeks younger than Asher, and the two of them played together the entire time. Like games. Who can keep the purple bowl and even a VTEC music toy was shared for over a half hour. They are growing up and acting more like little kids than babies. It truly boggles the mind. When did that happen? Was I not watching closely?
We're gearing up for another food trial in a couple weeks since the winter squash trial went so well! I'm nervous and excited for another trial. This time we will be taking summer squash and zucccini for a spin. Fingers Crossed!
It boggles my mind when I stop and think of how quickly Asher has gone from helpless infant, to mobile little boy! In a week, he'll be nine months old. Three months from now He'll be one! ONE! A toddler. And as much joy as each new stage brings, it hurts my heart a little that my baby will no longer be a baby. Asher Ben just might be my last baby too and I don't know how to feel about that just yet.
I love watching him play with other kids. In that aspect he is very very social. He loves playing with Kylee and is constantly trying to keep up with her....thus the early mobility. It melts my heart to see the little smile that suddenly appears on his face each morning when he first hears her voice! He cannot wait to get downstairs and play with her.
A couple days ago we had Aiden over, Aiden is 3 weeks younger than Asher, and the two of them played together the entire time. Like games. Who can keep the purple bowl and even a VTEC music toy was shared for over a half hour. They are growing up and acting more like little kids than babies. It truly boggles the mind. When did that happen? Was I not watching closely?
We're gearing up for another food trial in a couple weeks since the winter squash trial went so well! I'm nervous and excited for another trial. This time we will be taking summer squash and zucccini for a spin. Fingers Crossed!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
A Humble Heartfelt Thank You!
Its the time of year to reflect and give thanks. I was thinking about how crazy life can be, this time last year I was counting down the days until my pregnancy reached viability and praying for a healthy full term baby. Its amazing how life changes in such a short time. After all what is a year but 300 plus days? I find myself especially grateful, despite all the trials and tribulations that have faced my small family. I'm growing more as a person and embracing the positive aspect to all our challenges. I have many things to be grateful for and I would be remiss to leave anything out, so I'm going to attack this in an organized Fashion.
I am Grateful for my wonderful family!
This year my husband and I were blessed with a gorgeous baby boy! I can't say enough about Asher and how wonderful he has made my life. This year I am thankful that God has given me the gift of Asher Benjamin!
I am grateful for my sister and my brother in law, who have given us a beautiful home to live in while we save for our house, endless amounts of support and love, and a gorgeous niece and nephew! This year I am grateful for Michelle, Kris, Kylee Ceriah, and Ethan James!
I am grateful for The family that I have chosen and the families who have chosen me. For Asher's Mimi, who loves him like her own, for Asher's Uncles and Auntie who keep his pictures by their beds and keep him in their thoughts and prayers. This year I am grateful for the whole Webber house hold.
I am grateful for my Aunt Coleen, who dropped everything two weeks after having major surgery to take care of Asher while I was in the hospital having emergency surgery and then hospitalized with a serious illness.
I am grateful that my mother has grown as a person and continues to be faithful to her sobriety and the love that she feels for my son.
I am grateful for Phill's family who has become my family. For Asher's Grammy and Gram for loving him. For Lori and Paul who have offered our family help when we've needed it, for Sylvia who is a bank of knowledge and encouragement, and for all the Cole's who make having a large family fun!
This year I am grateful for my three big sisters, who I've always known about, but who have just recently come into my life. For Carol who sought us out and filled in some gaps in our past, for Elaine (My look alike) who shares many of my personality traits, her daughter Jackie...who is a smart, intelligent, beautiful young woman, and for Kelly, who is beautiful inside and out : ) This year is the first year that I can say I am grateful to my birth father, if only for the opportunity to have Carol, Elaine, and Kelly in my life.
I am Grateful for Medical Science
This year I am especially grateful for all those who were blessed with greater intelligence than myself and a passion for healing.
I am grateful to the doctor's at Tufts Floating Hospital for Children, who worked tirelessly to stabilize, diagnose, and treat my son when at just 11 weeks old he suffered a severe allergic emergency and stopped breathing.
I am grateful to live in a time where doctor's know a lot about rare medical conditions and have medicine and medical food to feed children who in past generations would have died.
I am grateful for a little boy who takes all his setback in stride and continues to be a ray of sunshine in my life.
I am grateful to the doctor's at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center who took care of me during my high risk pregnancy, delivered my baby, took care of me when my liver failed, saved my kidneys, and delivered my sister's baby.
I Am Grateful for my Husband
I am grateful to have a husband who works many hours over time week after week to provide for his family and allow me to stay at home and take care of Asher. I am grateful to Phill for the love and adoration he has for our son and for the things that he has given up in order to have a closer relationship with his family....like the business that he poured his heart into.
I Am Grateful for My Friends
For Ali who talks me through all my problems and always has a listening ear, and great advice. For her beautiful son Aiden who will grow up with Asher. I am grateful for the social outlet known as The Bump, it keeps this stay at home mom sane! I am grateful for all the women whom I've never met, but have helped me through a lot of tough times. I am especially thankful for a few of these women who have taken a special interest in my family and have kept us in their thoughts and prayers.
And last But Not Least, I am grateful for the means to take care of my family.
I am grateful to have food on our table, clothes on our back, great health insurance, and a beautiful house and safe neighborhood for my son to grow up in.
What are you grateful for this year?
I am Grateful for my wonderful family!
This year my husband and I were blessed with a gorgeous baby boy! I can't say enough about Asher and how wonderful he has made my life. This year I am thankful that God has given me the gift of Asher Benjamin!
I am grateful for my sister and my brother in law, who have given us a beautiful home to live in while we save for our house, endless amounts of support and love, and a gorgeous niece and nephew! This year I am grateful for Michelle, Kris, Kylee Ceriah, and Ethan James!
I am grateful for The family that I have chosen and the families who have chosen me. For Asher's Mimi, who loves him like her own, for Asher's Uncles and Auntie who keep his pictures by their beds and keep him in their thoughts and prayers. This year I am grateful for the whole Webber house hold.
I am grateful for my Aunt Coleen, who dropped everything two weeks after having major surgery to take care of Asher while I was in the hospital having emergency surgery and then hospitalized with a serious illness.
I am grateful that my mother has grown as a person and continues to be faithful to her sobriety and the love that she feels for my son.
I am grateful for Phill's family who has become my family. For Asher's Grammy and Gram for loving him. For Lori and Paul who have offered our family help when we've needed it, for Sylvia who is a bank of knowledge and encouragement, and for all the Cole's who make having a large family fun!
This year I am grateful for my three big sisters, who I've always known about, but who have just recently come into my life. For Carol who sought us out and filled in some gaps in our past, for Elaine (My look alike) who shares many of my personality traits, her daughter Jackie...who is a smart, intelligent, beautiful young woman, and for Kelly, who is beautiful inside and out : ) This year is the first year that I can say I am grateful to my birth father, if only for the opportunity to have Carol, Elaine, and Kelly in my life.
I am Grateful for Medical Science
This year I am especially grateful for all those who were blessed with greater intelligence than myself and a passion for healing.
I am grateful to the doctor's at Tufts Floating Hospital for Children, who worked tirelessly to stabilize, diagnose, and treat my son when at just 11 weeks old he suffered a severe allergic emergency and stopped breathing.
I am grateful to live in a time where doctor's know a lot about rare medical conditions and have medicine and medical food to feed children who in past generations would have died.
I am grateful for a little boy who takes all his setback in stride and continues to be a ray of sunshine in my life.
I am grateful to the doctor's at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center who took care of me during my high risk pregnancy, delivered my baby, took care of me when my liver failed, saved my kidneys, and delivered my sister's baby.
I Am Grateful for my Husband
I am grateful to have a husband who works many hours over time week after week to provide for his family and allow me to stay at home and take care of Asher. I am grateful to Phill for the love and adoration he has for our son and for the things that he has given up in order to have a closer relationship with his family....like the business that he poured his heart into.
I Am Grateful for My Friends
For Ali who talks me through all my problems and always has a listening ear, and great advice. For her beautiful son Aiden who will grow up with Asher. I am grateful for the social outlet known as The Bump, it keeps this stay at home mom sane! I am grateful for all the women whom I've never met, but have helped me through a lot of tough times. I am especially thankful for a few of these women who have taken a special interest in my family and have kept us in their thoughts and prayers.
And last But Not Least, I am grateful for the means to take care of my family.
I am grateful to have food on our table, clothes on our back, great health insurance, and a beautiful house and safe neighborhood for my son to grow up in.
What are you grateful for this year?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Decision Decisions, we've decided
Snowflake Reflections Cocoa Christmas Card
Make a statement with custom Christmas cards at Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.
We decided to go with option number 2. If you've moved and need to update your address so we can send you a card, please FB message me!
Turkey, Cider, Hot Cocoa, and our Fabulous Mugs!
Its that time of year again! Thats right, its holiday picture time! I'm so excited to be a mom this year, because I get to send out one of those cute picture cards from Shutterfly that everyone send out around the holidays! I love getting all the pictures of the kids and babies and seeing how much they've grown from the previous year!
About a week ago we did Asher's six month photoshoot and family holiday portrait. We got so many pictures so now I'm torn between getting a simple photocard to show off the fabulous family picture that Phill took...like this one from Shutterfly...The Peace Love Ribbon Card Or Maybe a card like this one to show off all the fabulous pictures that we took of Asher and the family. What do you think? Either way I know we'll be going with Shutterfly since the prices are good and they did such an awesome job on Asher's birth announcements!
I'm excited to see all of your holiday pictures! So you better get on over to Shutterfly and order them in time for the holidays! I have a whole wall just waiting for them to be hung on!
About a week ago we did Asher's six month photoshoot and family holiday portrait. We got so many pictures so now I'm torn between getting a simple photocard to show off the fabulous family picture that Phill took...like this one from Shutterfly...The Peace Love Ribbon Card Or Maybe a card like this one to show off all the fabulous pictures that we took of Asher and the family. What do you think? Either way I know we'll be going with Shutterfly since the prices are good and they did such an awesome job on Asher's birth announcements!
I'm excited to see all of your holiday pictures! So you better get on over to Shutterfly and order them in time for the holidays! I have a whole wall just waiting for them to be hung on!
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