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First things first, are you pregnant? Do you plan to become pregnant? Wait! Stop! Don't breathe! This just in, breathing during pregnancy causes Autism. This is based on zero fact and completely meant to instill fear and perpetuate ignorance and misinformation. You're welcome. Remember folks you heard it from me first.

Okay seriously, I'm sick and tired. I'm tired of hearing that x,y,z causes autism and new "evidence" shows a link to x,y,z....based on zero actual fact. So here is the translation: You did something to cause your child's autism and if you're pregnant and eat at all, don't live in a bubble, well then your kid is going to get the autism too and it will be all your friggan fault....take the mommy shame with a side of guilt and future remorse. Bam.

Today I was in my OB's office and I happened to have Asher with me (Fuck you professional development day right after a holiday) His behavior was....special. You know aside from the fact that he is autistic, he is also three and a half and waiting is not his forte. Anyway, a very pregnant young woman next to me decided that my hands weren't full enough and that what I needed was for her to chat my ears away while my OB ran 45 minutes behind.

I learned that this woman is expecting her first baby, she is not getting the flu shot or doing the glucose screening, because you know...she doesn't want to increase her chances of having a baby with autism, she even refused all ultrasounds... too risky. But I'm not judging, because well to each their own. I mean I inwardly laughed at the sugar glucola drink to screen for diabetes because well lol..but whatever.

But halfway through her non stop chatter she stops and says "You have your hands full there" Yeah what gave that away? The fact that you're practically talking to yourself while I chase my son and wrestle him before he runs out of the room? Or maybe she breathed long enough to realize that my child is screaming "stop talkin at me!" In any event, she surveyed the scene in front of her and said "I'm not an expert but he is acting a little autistic if you ask me"

Okay to stay with me. Because you guys know me. I just looked at her, purposefully made her feel uncomfortable while maintaining silent eye contact and slowly said "Well that is because he IS Autistic and you're bothering him" I give her credit. She looked a little put off, but then she almost whispered "So you're having another one? I think I read somewhere that your next baby will definately be autistic too"

Don't judge me too harshly here. But I leaned in and said "speaking of risk factors based on zero study and fact, I think your child is bound to be rude....you know like mother like child" I was going to scoop up Asher and move away, but she beat me to it.

Anyway, I'm a pretty regular poster on a mommy message board. It is a general board, so the only real thing we all have in common is being pregnant at the same time. But honestly, it seems like everyday I am typing "FOR FUCK SAKE PEOPLE" because I'm constantly reading crap like "OMG did you guys know pitocin causes autism?" "I'm not getting the flu shot because I don't want a child with Autism" "Did you guys know we should be avoiding red and blue dyes"

Really everyone, just shut the fuck up. I honestly believe that anyone, anyone out there who is spurting crap about autism and does not have a child with autism...well they just need to shut up. Stop spreading fear, stop spreading misinformation, stop fucking blaming people for what is essentially a genetic toss of the neurological dice. Lucky for me, I'm a smart girl and a bit of a bitch, so I'm resilient. I'm not about to let a single person tell me that I did this to my son. But there are women with children like Asher or more severe who read this stuff and think "OMG I let them induce me, I let my son down, I should have just waited until I was 48 weeks pregnant and then he'd be fine" For me it would be more like "Fuck dude, I ate way too many chocolate donuts when I was pregnant with Asher...oooops, who knew chocolate causes autism?" For Fuck sake.

The fact is, Asher is my son, but he is also Phill's son. Our genes combined in a way that made Asher, everything that he is. The awesome, the good, the normal, the eh, and the ugly. And it is just who he is. This little boy would not have been born to anyone else exactly the way he is, regardless of the similarities in pregnancies, how many donuts were eaten, if the flu shot was had, or if mom opted for a natural delivery vs and induction. This child is my child, he is Asher, and he is special in many many ways.

Sometimes I read this crap and while I silently laugh at the stupidity of it all, another part of me panics "What will I do if my little girl is like this too? Can I handle two of them? Would I be a good mother to two high needs kids?" All mothers to be worry, but special needs mamas worry at a different level. The what ifs are bigger and the whys may never be answered. The only thing that would really help, would be people just shutting up every once and a while, thinking about what they are saying, the message they are sending, the judgements they are throwing out.

Wait wait.....don't blink, don't eat x,y,z, next thing you know you'll be telling me those things cause heart defects...oh wait we were talking about something else.