To Walk or Not to Walk......and Other Things that Boggle the Brain!

That is Asher's question. He has on two separate occasions taken two steps and then promptly fallen on his face attempting a third! But its progress. Soon we'll have a walker and then....watch out world!

It boggles my mind when I stop and think of how quickly Asher has gone from helpless infant, to mobile little boy! In a week, he'll be nine months old. Three months from now He'll be one! ONE! A toddler. And as much joy as each new stage brings, it hurts my heart a little that my baby will no longer be a baby. Asher Ben just might be my last baby too and I don't know how to feel about that just yet.

I love watching him play with other kids. In that aspect he is very very social. He loves playing with Kylee and is constantly trying to keep up with her....thus the early mobility. It melts my heart to see the little smile that suddenly appears on his face each morning when he first hears her voice! He cannot wait to get downstairs and play with her.

A couple days ago we had Aiden over, Aiden is 3 weeks younger than Asher, and the two of them played together the entire time. Like games. Who can keep the purple bowl and even a VTEC music toy was shared for over a half hour. They are growing up and acting more like little kids than babies. It truly boggles the mind. When did that happen? Was I not watching closely?

We're gearing up for another food trial in a couple weeks since the winter squash trial went so well! I'm nervous and excited for another trial. This time we will be taking summer squash and zucccini for a spin. Fingers Crossed!

A Humble Heartfelt Thank You!

Its the time of year to reflect and give thanks. I was thinking about how crazy life can be, this time last year I was counting down the days until my pregnancy reached viability and praying for a healthy full term baby. Its amazing how life changes in such a short time. After all what is a year but 300 plus days? I find myself especially grateful, despite all the trials and tribulations that have faced my small family. I'm growing more as a person and embracing the positive aspect to all our challenges. I have many things to be grateful for and I would be remiss to leave anything out, so I'm going to attack this in an organized Fashion.

I am Grateful for my wonderful family!

This year my husband and I were blessed with a gorgeous baby boy! I can't say enough about Asher and how wonderful he has made my life. This year I am thankful that God has given me the gift of Asher Benjamin!

I am grateful for my sister and my brother in law, who have given us a beautiful home to live in while we save for our house, endless amounts of support and love, and a gorgeous niece and nephew! This year I am grateful for Michelle, Kris, Kylee Ceriah, and Ethan James!

I am grateful for The family that I have chosen and the families who have chosen me. For Asher's Mimi, who loves him like her own, for Asher's Uncles and Auntie who keep his pictures by their beds and keep him in their thoughts and prayers. This year I am grateful for the whole Webber house hold.

I am grateful for my Aunt Coleen, who dropped everything two weeks after having major surgery to take care of Asher while I was in the hospital having emergency surgery and then hospitalized with a serious illness.

I am grateful that my mother has grown as a person and continues to be faithful to her sobriety and the love that she feels for my son.

I am grateful for Phill's family who has become my family. For Asher's Grammy and Gram for loving him. For Lori and Paul who have offered our family help when we've needed it, for Sylvia who is a bank of knowledge and encouragement, and for all the Cole's who make having a large family fun!

This year I am grateful for my three big sisters, who I've always known about, but who have just recently come into my life. For Carol who sought us out and filled in some gaps in our past, for Elaine (My look alike) who shares many of my personality traits, her daughter Jackie...who is a smart, intelligent, beautiful young woman, and for Kelly, who is beautiful inside and out : ) This year is the first year that I can say I am grateful to my birth father, if only for the opportunity to have Carol, Elaine, and Kelly in my life.

I am Grateful for Medical Science

This year I am especially grateful for all those who were blessed with greater intelligence than myself and a passion for healing.

I am grateful to the doctor's at Tufts Floating Hospital for Children, who worked tirelessly to stabilize, diagnose, and treat my son when at just 11 weeks old he suffered a severe allergic emergency and stopped breathing.

I am grateful to live in a time where doctor's know a lot about rare medical conditions and have medicine and medical food to feed children who in past generations would have died.

I am grateful for a little boy who takes all his setback in stride and continues to be a ray of sunshine in my life.

I am grateful to the doctor's at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center who took care of me during my high risk pregnancy, delivered my baby, took care of me when my liver failed, saved my kidneys, and delivered my sister's baby.

I Am Grateful for my Husband

I am grateful to have a husband who works many hours over time week after week to provide for his family and allow me to stay at home and take care of Asher. I am grateful to Phill for the love and adoration he has for our son and for the things that he has given up in order to have a closer relationship with his family....like the business that he poured his heart into.

I Am Grateful for My Friends

For Ali who talks me through all my problems and always has a listening ear, and great advice. For her beautiful son Aiden who will grow up with Asher. I am grateful for the social outlet known as The Bump, it keeps this stay at home mom sane! I am grateful for all the women whom I've never met, but have helped me through a lot of tough times. I am especially thankful for a few of these women who have taken a special interest in my family and have kept us in their thoughts and prayers.

And last But Not Least, I am grateful for the means to take care of my family.

I am grateful to have food on our table, clothes on our back, great health insurance, and a beautiful house and safe neighborhood for my son to grow up in.

What are you grateful for this year?

Decision Decisions, we've decided

Snowflake Reflections Cocoa Christmas Card

Make a statement with custom Christmas cards at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

We decided to go with option number 2. If you've moved and need to update your address so we can send you a card, please FB message me!

Turkey, Cider, Hot Cocoa, and our Fabulous Mugs!

Its that time of year again! Thats right, its holiday picture time! I'm so excited to be a mom this year, because I get to send out one of those cute picture cards from Shutterfly that everyone send out around the holidays! I love getting all the pictures of the kids and babies and seeing how much they've grown from the previous year!

About a week ago we did Asher's six month photoshoot and family holiday portrait. We got so many pictures so now I'm torn between getting a simple photocard to show off the fabulous family picture that Phill took...like this one from Shutterfly...The Peace Love Ribbon Card Or Maybe a card like this one to show off all the fabulous pictures that we took of Asher and the family. What do you think? Either way I know we'll be going with Shutterfly since the prices are good and they did such an awesome job on Asher's birth announcements!

I'm excited to see all of your holiday pictures! So you better get on over to Shutterfly and order them in time for the holidays! I have a whole wall just waiting for them to be hung on!

Been there, done that, now what?

Its a tough week in the Cole household. After almost a year of testing we've finally made some headway as far as Phill's mysterious illness is concerned. Months of testing and many specialists later we have a preliminary diagnosis. Acute Multiple Protein Allergy. Say what? Thats right, we've heard this before! I feel like I'm at Tufts all over again leaning over Asher's clean room crib, hearing this diagnosis and feeling absolutely confused, devastated, and totally helpless. A year! It took a year.... this information could have helped us take care of our son, help with my prenatal care, prepare us for the caos that ensued right after Asher's birth. Why? Because this type of allergy is actually a genetic problem with the immune system that is almost always passed along if both parents have food allergies and one of those parents has an Acute Multiple Protein Allergy. And of course, it figures.....I have a couple food allergies. And the icing on the cake....its rare, but we're almost garranteed to pass it along to another child. So now for more testing, gene mapping and food trials for Phill and Asher, and for me so we can have all the information we need to make sure that Asher's quality of life isn't affected.

Its funny that Phill has been able to live his whole life with this illness and never have the symptoms that Asher had. I mean he had symptoms. His poor mother listened to him screaming as a baby 23 hours out of the day. Of course the Dr's told it was colic....don't worry about it! Poor Dianne, I really can't imagine not having answers and feeling that kind of helpless. And then of course, there were the awful rashes....dermatologist told them it was exzema....so they tried all sorts of creams and alternatives to soap...that made no difference. And the icicing....the behavior problems....which is what happens when children are always in pain, but are so used to that pain, they don't actually recognize it as pain anymore.

I guess they should consider themselves lucky that he didn't stop breathing. But I really don't think its lucky to suffer a whole childhood thinking...."what the hell is wrong with my kid!?!" and of course "Am I a bad boy?" I'm just grateful I wasn't a mom in 1981 and that my child was born when Doctors didn't brush aside these things and specialists know more about rare and complicated diseases.

A Tale of Five Sisters

Five Sisters, Two Families....30 Something Years Later

Growing up I always knew that my birth father had other children. They grew up in a different state and were a generation older than us. So they were adults when we were children...having children of their own, who are now close to our age. So we didn't get to know them and never got an oppertunity to meet them....until now.

How strange that at almost 30 years old I am getting the oppertunity to meet "new" siblings! About a month ago, Michelle and I took a trip a couple states over to visit with our oldest sister Carol. We were a little nervous, but she was so nice and warm....I really couldn't believe after all these years how easy this visit was. She told us all about our other sisters and their families and the few things she had known about us as children.

Shortly after visiting with Carol, we were contacted by our sister Kelly, who was so excited to get to know us and wanted to meet us too. So yesterday Michelle, Kylee, Asher, and I got into the car and headed out for dinner with Two sisters and a neice (who is just a couple years younger than I am)

What strikes me the most, is how much you can like people that you just met! Kelly and Elaine are both really warm and bubbly people, it would be hard to not feel fondness for them. The other most striking thought was how crazy it feels to sit around a table with girls you just met and realise how much you all look alike! Specifically Elaine and Myself.

Elaine's daughter brought pictures of them all throughout the years and if you took a picture of me as a teenager and one of Elaine....you might not be able to tell us apart....its like twin sisters separated by a generation : )

We shared a meal and chatted for going on three hours about our lives, in fact we didn't even touch on the one thing we've always shared until right before it was time to go....our father. Going into it I was worried that it would be the only thing we would be able to talk about....but it turns out we have a lot more in common than I thought we would.

Its so great after all these years to meet the other "moffett girls" I lowercased the name because I don't think any of us truly own being a moffett anymore. I used to hate the name, but now I don't...because its the thing that links me to these other women : )

Oh Happy Day!

Asher Benjamin turned six months old yesterday! Seems a little crazy that hes been here for half a year already! Its also a little sad to think of how quickly it passed by and how fast the next six months will fly...soon we'll have a one year old!

Asher is now crawling everywhere! We have been baby gate shopping so we can block off the second living room and make it a snack free zone. It has been a little stressful following Kylee around to make sure shes not dropping animal crackers everywhere!

Asher LOVES Kylee. He wants to do everything with her and everything like her! So now he has a sippy cup, so they can watch Elmo together and have a juice cup together! He loves it. Of course Asher's cup has pedialyte in it....but he thinks they are enjoying the same thing!

Sometimes during dinner, we put them in their high chairs next to each other....and they laugh the whole dinner....its like they are little best friends! She can make him laugh when hes crying. Its so awesome to see : ) Part of me doesn't feel old, but then sometimes I look at them and think "Thats my sister's baby and the other one is my baby" and I know that we're getting up there!

One last thing about Asher, we are truly excited about this one! Neocate (the makers of his formula) has put their medical food paste back on the market! When I got this update from Neocate, I literally had myself a good cry.

I didn't post at the time, because it was so depressing, but Asher failed both of his food trials.....and he is always hungry now! Its draining feeding him every two hours and waking up every two hours at night! I'm hoping that we can get a prescription for the food paste and try it out next week. We are hoping it will keep him filled up longer and maybe we'll all be a little happier and more rested! Heres to hoping!

On other fronts. It was brought to my attention recently, that I never followed up on my liver issues. I can't believe I didn't do that, especially since I got very good news. My tumors are harmless tumors that are called FNH....they don't turn into cancer and very rarely do they get biggger. I will have an MRI in six months just to make sure....but many people live with these tumors to a very old age! It was such a relief to get that kind of news. As far as stress goes, Asher's medical problems are enough for me!

Anyway, Yesterday I got together with a bunch of other moms that I have been talking to since I got pregnant! It was very cool to meet these girls and attach faces to the women who have given me so much support and great advice throughout pregnancy and my troubles after Asher came! We plan on doing another get together in the warm weather when all the kids are mobile!

The basement project is still in full swing. We have an electrican coming and the contractor next weekend to finish up the big work downstairs....and then we just have tp pick out paint and set up shop downstairs. Its going to be great to have more space! I'll post pictures once the project is done : )